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Chapter 2: Mission Today, the class of IML 120 was learning about the Abominable Spaceman's associates. They read about them based on entries in the famous textbook Epochs, by Admiral Rhinov Josbek, retired. Epochs was the textbook all IML 120 students had to own. All the teachers of the subject taught from it. Epochs also had the most detailed chronicle of the Abominable Spaceman's life, starting with his birth 600 cycles ago. `The class went by at a really slow speed, because Ahr spent all the time thinking about his Mission. He was thinking all day about how he was going to track the Abominable Spaceman down... he decided that he would tell his IML 120 professor, Tim, about his Mission and get his advice. Every IML 120 student knew that Tim, the professor, was the most knowledgable authority on the Abominable Spaceman in Universe City. So the class ended, and Ahr walked to up to the front of the class, but Tim quickly exited the room through the sliding professor door. The sliding professor door was in all the classrooms, and it allowed the professors quick access to and from their classes without having to be bombarded by mobs of students. Anyway, Tim went through the sliding professor door, and Ahr, running, managed to make it through behind him. This was the first time Ahr had ever seen the professors' hallways, which gleamed like the R&D room at a microchip corporation. The smell of antiseptic hung heavy in the air. Ahr saw Tim walk into an office not far from the IML 120 exit of the professors' hallways. Ahr followed him in. "I'm sorry, do I know you?" Professor Tim said. "Uh... not really," Ahr replied. "Then leave, please." "Wait! My name's Ahr Wolford." "So?" "Last night I had a dream, and when I woke up, I knew that I would go forth into the Universe and seek out the Abominable Spaceman," Ahr said, tilting his head at an angle, dramatically, "and I would record the truth of his life. This is my Mission, and I would appreciate your help, Professor Tim." Professor Tim burst out laughing. He continued guffawing for a good ten minutes, and soon before he stopped, he reached into a desk drawer and pulled out a book entitled Abominable Comrade by Ka D'Argo, a Luxan who spent some time with the Abominable Spaceman. Abominable Comrade was a collection of the legends Ka D'Argo had managed to collect and transcribe during his travels with the Abominable Spaceman. Professor Tim turned to a tale in the book entitled "Not My Size." Not My Size: I was not involved in this tale. I only heard it after I was through accompaning John Crichton on his escapades. However, I was asked to write this tale as I heard it for the United Front Publishing Mega-Conglomerate when they approached me to write this book of tales. The tale goes as follows: John Crichton and a band of unsettling rogues were out looking for some mayhem to cause, when John stopped at a commerce planet. "Give me some explosives," he said to his follow rogues. The rogue nearest to him handed him a bunch of big bombs. John took the bombs and went down into the red-light district on the commerce planet. He found a clothing store there. He went in there and preceeded to tear off every tag off every pair of pants in the store, all because he couldn't find any that fit. When he was done trashing the joint, he handed the bombs to the staff and said he intended to blow the place up if they didn't get some pants that fit him out "pronto". "Pronto" was his word; nobody knew what it meant, but they understood what it implied. A staff member ran into the Back to talk to the dozens of migrant workers who were toiling away back there un their standard Unsafe Conditions, as specified in their contracts. The staff member ordered one of them to get to working on a pair of pants that would fit Crichton, and do it quickly! The staff member finished the pants in about 30 minutes (borrowing a term from Crichton because it is kinda silly that we as a galactic culture don't have any measurement of time between microt and arn), and when he took it out to appease the Abominable Spaceman, Crichton was gone. In his place was a shaking middle-management type who had wandered in at the wrong time, and was therefore holding the bomb that Crichton brought. The staff member noticed that not only was all the money gone from the register, but the bomb wasn't activated. As a result, they lost their money, had a now-useless pair of pants, and were humiliated in front of the entire red light district. Ever since then, whenever a customer would buy something at the store, they'd come back later with some sort of fake weapon and steal their money back. The store eventually closed up shop. Professor Tim finished the story and closed the book. "So you see, Ahr, the Abominable Spaceman is a dangerous creature to tangle with. You really would be better off not going on any Missions right now." "But I have to," Ahr insisted. "I have a feeling that this Mission," Ahr said, tilting his head in the dramatic angle again, "is my destiny. That the entire course of my life depends on me completing this Mission." Professor Tim sighed, and said, "Well, if you're going to, might I suggest two things: 1) Come up with some excuse. Everyone knows the stories about the Abominable Spaceman, and they would all think you're foolish to try to find him. And 2) Take this book." Tim gave Abominable Comrade to Ahr in such a way that the first thing Ahr saw when he looked at it was the side of the book where the binding is. "If I were you, I'd seek out the book's publisher. They could give you directions." "Good idea!" Ahr said, and noted that the book was a United Front publication.
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