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Princess Tasmania is the daughter of the platypus King Anatinus of Misty Island. Tasmania, much beloved by her people, was twice rescued by a heroic employee of the Festeron Postal Service. This hero, also responsible for the defeat of The Evil Ove, saved Tasmania after she had both fallen in a pit and been captured by "Corky" Crisp, a henchman of The Evil One. The story of the rescue of Tasmania will live in platypus legend forever.
TED, short for Thaddium Elemental Diverter, was created by General Kaine as a safe, easy way to transport the unstable, radioactive mineral thaddium. Each TED case is hard metal, with thick a thick lead lining, and the TEDs come in several different sizes for industrial thaddium transport. The Thaddium Research Facilities #1 and #2 had an 1000-ugh, 89-bloit tank so that extremely large amounts of thaddium from Thaddium Research Facility #1 to Thaddium Research Facility #2, or from Thaddium Research Facility #2 to Thaddium Research Facility #1. When Thaddium Research Facility #1 exploded in 945 GUE, the large block of the mineral was kept waiting in Thaddium Research Facility #2, which exploded a week later. It is believed that that large block of thaddium was left sitting in a dusty corner in the basement of Thaddium Research Facility #2, leading to it's unfortunate explosion.
The Teleportation Stations were installed at various locations throughout the Great Underground Empire by the second Dungeon Master to make adventuring easier. The Teleporation Stations, simply put, are the fastest ways to get around in the underground.
On their front, there's a slot that you stick your map in. It scans your map and marks down all the closest teleporation stations. Then you get to work the console by hitting the switches below the screen. The switches transport you to a different location, which also appears on the screen. Then you just step away from the machine, claim your map, and be on your way.
They have since been deactivated by the fourth Dungeon Master in an attempt to dissuade clumsy adventurers from intruding on his¹ space.
Teletaters, by the same companies that make Infotaters, are small boxes that sit somewhere in your home and receive signals from the ether. They are more commonly known as televisions.
The Temple of Agrippa was built by the Frobozz Magic Construction Company, specifically by C. Agrippa, under the commission of King Duncanthrax Flathead the Bellicose because he wanted to examine alchemy. Agrippa, however, vehemently opposed the project. Duncanthrax tried to poison Agrippa, and he quit. After that, the Temple was constructed rapidly.
It was located near the Gray Mountains Province. In 945 GUE, the Circle of Four used the Temple to try to create the Quintessence of Immortality. This resulted in The Nemesis, who began terrorizing lands from 945 to 949 GUE.
In 949 GUE, a pilgrim travelled to the Temple, broke the Nemesis's curse, brought back the Circle of Four (only to kill them again), reunited Lucien Kaine and Alexandria Wolfe, and destroyed the Temple.
Temporal Travel Technology, though in existence for many centuries, is still considered to be experimental by the magic industry. Several government agencies are currently looking into its potential long-term effects.
As this is written, magic companies are using temporal travel to deliver products before they are ordered, and there is also a time travel spell called GOLMAC. Also, the ancient Hourglass of Phee allows travel backwards and forwards in time, although only in Phee itself. It is also known that another hourglass of time travel is mystically connected to one of the Cubes of Foundation. This hourglass allows travel to the early days of an age-old castle in the Eastlands. Another time travel spell is GIRGOL, which stops time but allows the caster to move about as normal for a brief amount of "time." A duplicate of the Phee Hourglass was uncovered in the Temple of Agrippa, but it was presumed lost when the temple was destroyed.
The Frobozz Magic Temporizer Company also designs versitile devices called Frobozz Magic Temporizers, which allow the operator to travel to a particular year in time, but remain on the same day (i.e. from 14 Mumberbur 941 GUE to 14 Mumberbur 883). Our researchers use these to report accurately.
And finally, time tunnels are small tunnels that take you to a specific date in time. These are located in random locations throughout the Empire, and are often quite hard to find. Three time tunnel locations are known so far: 1) Just beyond the gates of Hades, 2) Inside the closet in the Dungeon Master's Lair, 3) Hidden somewhere in the Steppinthrax Monastery. It is also rumored that another time tunnel randomly pops up in the Desert River Province.
The Tesseract is the name given to the mythical, magical object formed when all of the Cubes of Foundation are combined in a specific and mystical way. Once the Tesseract has been formed, the holder of it gains control over the forces of the cosmos. The only known time anyone has ever seen a Tesseract was when the former Head of the Circle of Enchanters. tricked his shadow into entering a malformed one, thus destroying all magic for over a hundred years.
Thaddium was discovered
by General Thaddeus Kaine around 19 Mag 924 GUE, who subsequently started using it in weapons in his everpresent war against Lord Ellron, in the Eastlands. thaddium was heavily researched also because of Syovar the Strong, who had enemies in the Enchanter's Guild, who were backing Ellron.
Thaddium research stopped ubruptly around 945 GUE when General Kaine's Thaddium Research Facilities #1 and #2 both exploded due to handling errors. Due to the disintegration of the facilities, nobody knows what exactly happened, but it is rumored that the first one exploded because a technician or two transported thaddium here and there without a TED. And the second one is believed to have exploded because, following the first explosion, there was a large surplus of thaddium hanging around, and not enough TEDs to carry it. The research facility tucked it into a corner somewhere and forgot about it, until the facility exploded.
The Thaumaturgical Institute produced the first reliable Hyperbolic Incantation Concentrator (magic wand) in 723 GUE.
This Psyantist's Life was a sitcom created by Arthur and Meredith Sprague that premiered on EBG in 883 GUE for the fall season. It was one of the first of it's kind. It told the story of a high-level enchanter named Ryan Psyantist, from Borphee, who had an unshakable addiction to machines. He was always messing with them, much to the displeasure of his friends and family, for magicians weren't allowed to use machines. Ryan's wife, Sarah Psyantist, found out about it and began orchestrating plots to bring about Ryan's downfall, mostly by using her or Ryan's friends. Sarah's friend David Copperfield was also an enchanter, albeit a much more inexperienced one, who was madly in love with Sarah. David went along with Sarah's plans because he figured that he could get Sarah afterwards. Sarah also used David's boss, Dimithio of Borphee, the head of the Borphee Enchanters' Guild. Dimithio had a long-buried, secret hatred for Ryan, and would do anything to ruin him, althrough Sarah didn't know this. Also not helping Ryan's situation was the fact that he was visited regularly by the disembodied spirit of Duncanthrax Flathead. Duncanthrax was a prankster and loved watching Ryan squirm, just for the fun of it, so he would always trigger Ryan's machines at the most inoppertune times. But the Ghost became the only person Ryan could actually rely on and confide in. And then there's Mugshot Blake, the black market technology dealer who was always inviting himself to Ryan's house at all hours.
When it premiered in 883 GUE, it was filmed entirely live. When you watched it, you saw the same action at the same time as everybody else, so they couldn't do re-takes and they couldn't hide mistakes. That problem never became more apparent until the show's nineteenth episode of it's first season, "The Men Who Came To Dinner." In that episode, Sarah organized what would become the first in a series of impromptu dinners to catch Ryan with his machines. She invited Dimithio and David to the dinner, knowing that Ryan wouldn't like it. Ryan, in turn, invited Mugshot, and the Ghost invited himself. Or, at least, that's what was supposed to happen. As it turns out, that episode was shot on Curse Day, just after the fall of the Flathead Empire, and none other than Wurb Flathead himself was in the audience. Using a series of timely magical spells, he completely destroyed the episode and scared every single one of the actors involved. He also drilled a large hole in the floor of the studio, and the last time anyone saw him was when he stormed the stage and jumped down the hole. While we have no proof, it is believed it did it to get back his elephant, Rusty, which was being held on the set directly below the This Psyantist's Life set. Following that incedent, the show began taping their episodes in advance.
| Show 119: The Men Who Came To Dinner Sarah throws the first of many impromptu dinner parties and invites Dimithio and David over to try to trick Ryan into revealing his technology. Ryan, in turn, invites Mugshot Blake over to get back at Sarah, and the Ghost invites himself. w:Meredith Sprague; d:Arthur Sprague |
The other notable occurance in the show's first season was the four-episode cameo appearance by Antharia Jack. After he quit his own show, he was still under contract to EBG, so he signed on to four episodes of This Psyantist's Life, playing David's nephew Norris Dekker. Norris was the son of David's sister Liz Copperfield Dekker, and her husband Tom. The cameo started in show #122, "David's Bratty Nephew."
| Show 122: David's Bratty Nephew gs:Antharia Jack (Norris) David borrows his sister's spoiled son Norris to try to entice Sarah into romance, but Norris keeps pointing out Ryan's machines to everyone during one of Sarah's impromptu dinner parties. w:Arthur Sprague; d:Arthur Sprague Show 123: The Ghost and Mr. Dekker gs:Antharia Jack (Norris) The Ghost of Duncanthrax plays a complicated series of tricks on David's bratty nephew Norris. As Norris complains about the Ghost, Ryan has to stop them both before his secret lifestyle is betrayed. w:Boris Leach; d:Arthur Sprague Show 124: How Do You Solve A Problem Like Norris? gs:Antharia Jack (Norris) David, now realizing how annoying Norris is, tries to get his sister and her husband to take him back, but they deftly avoid him. Each one of the group tries in their own way to get them to take Norris away. w:Frank Summons; d:Meredith Sprague Show 125: Goodbye, Norris. Good riddance gs:Antharia Jack (Norris) After Mugshot Blake's plan to get Norris back to his parents is accepted, they have to figure out how to put it into action. w:Meredith Sprague; d:Arthur Sprague |
While the audiences overwhelmingly loved Antharia Jack, they also overwhelmingly hated Norris. Norris was written out of the show permanently after the fourth episode, and so he was always "with a babysitter" or "at day-camp" whenever David's sister came to visit.
| Show 216: David And Sarah Sitting In A Tree Sarah and David track Ryan to an alleyway beside an abandoned factory to catch him and Mugshot Blake with machines, but a severe storm traps Sarah and David in the factory where romance reluctantly ensues. w:Meredith Sprague, Arthur Sprague; d:Meredith Sprague² |
Throughout it's six seasons, the show had many amusing plot twists. In the middle of the second season, in the episode, "David and Sarah Sitting In A Tree," Sarah and David were secretly following Ryan and Mugshot in the hopes that they could catch them with technology, when they found themselves locked in the old, giant Tree Warehouse. After several hilarious escape attempts by both of them, Sarah and David finally shared a romantic moment. This is the event that would change Sarah and David's behavior over the course of the series. David, of course, loved it. It's what he has been waiting for for years, but Sarah hated it. She hated the guilt she felt, and she started to hate herself. Season two ended with Sarah realizing that she truly loved Ryan, no matter what he was into. In season three, Sarah's goal changed from trying to "get" Ryan with technology, to trying to keep other people from "getting" Ryan with technology. The only problem is that she still couldn't let Ryan know what she was doing, so she had to protect him from David--who was, from the season two romance, now all the more anxious to get rid of Ryan--and Dimithio, all while making sure that he didn't suspect anything.
The main players in This Psyantist's Life were:
Ryan Psyantist, played by David Sinker
Sarah Blue Psyantist, played by Jennifer Badminton
David Copperfield, played by Addie Perry
Dimithio of Borphee, played by Donald N. Amount
The Ghost of King Duncanthrax the Bellicose, played by Keniton Kiftbiddle
"Mugshot Blake" Shelby, played by Blank LeMatt
This Psyantist's Life showed it's final episode in the spring of 889 GUE, with the episode, "This Psyantist's Life." It then moved to syndication on most of the major networks, but especially FOZ. The only episode that is never rebroadcast is show 119, "The Men Who Came To Dinner".
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Thriff: The strange wandering village of Thriff has, at one time or another, been located in most of the provinces of the Westlands. Rumor has it that Orkan, Guildmaster of Thriff's enchanters, constantly moves the town in an attempt to find a more benevolent climate for his terrible hayfever. In 966 Thriff was located just south of the Miznia jungle, and Orkan had recorded in his diary that he moved the village on July 26 by gating it through the Ethereal Plane of Atrii, because he hated the northern climes they were in previously. Here the village probably remained forever, because eighteen days later the Final Conclave of enchanters, of which Orkan was one, helped to bring the Age of Magic to a close, thus putting an end to Thriff's wanderings.
Thwack of Mareilon classified the Moss of Mareilon in 843 GUE.
Toads: A race of these creatures live somewhere beyond the oceans of the world. Seafarers report that these toads are ugly, cantankerous, and eternally hungry. The only specimen of these of these toads ever brought back to civilization was a pet of John Paul Flathead. This toad, named Otto, was not only ugly, but bright blue and as large as a small shack. In 883 Otto had the good fortune to eat the Four Fantastic Flies of Famathria, the objects of utmost culinary lust among his species.
Cardinal Toolbox was the spiritual guide of the Thriff religious community in the year 966 GUE. The most important event during his time as Cardinal was the invasion of the Christmas tree monsters. Toolbox went for days during this dangerous time without any sleep, leading a silent prayer vigil in hopes that the monsters would be destroyed by mightier powers.
Totems are metal canisters that come out of the Totemizer™. They are electronically sealed to contain the spirits of magical creatures. When a magical creature is Totemized, their body is discarded, and their spirit is confined within. Production of Totems skyrocketed during the reign of Mir Yannick, and have now been ground to a standstill.
The Totemizer™ was invented by the Frobozz Magic Company under commission from none other than King Duncanthrax the Bellicose, himself. After Duncanthrax wrote the Unnatural Acts, he needed a way to enforce them, and merely killing the magic abusers wasn't enough. So he had the Totemizer™ created so that the magic abusers could stand as symbols of justice. The Totemizer™, back in 672 GUE, was an entirely magical contraption. It was large and brown, and had a door in one end where the criminals would enter, and a small tube at the other, where the totems would fall out.
When Dimwit Flathead took over, his much more excessive ideas for punishing magic abusers pushed the Totemizer™ into the background. It was locked in a deserted warehouse in Fenshire until 1033 GUE, when Mir Yannick, one of the directors of Inquisition Enterprises, uncovered it. Yannick got a promotion, and the Inquisition began to use the Totemizer™ to imprison magical creatures. But the problem was that it was still a magical device, so they had to retrofit it. Inquisition Enterprises came up with a method that they claimed was guaranteed to seal totems for over a hundred years, but the studies showed otherwise.
In 1048 GUE, when Yannick becomes the ruler of the Theocracy of Quendor, and the chairman of Frobozz Electric, he decides that his first order of business is to fix up the Totemizer™. Frobozz Electric created, certified, and patented (No. 59980) the following technologies:
- Poundization™ (compacts subject into a portable form)
- Squishization (wrests natural, unnatural, and supernatural inclinations from subject)
- Stampization (achieves desirable Inquisition aesthetic)
- Permasealization™ (insurances permanence of Totemization)
The Tower of Bozbar, an ancient game of unknown origin, consists of three pegs and a pile of weights. The goal is to move the pile from one peg to another, moving one weight at a time, with the constraint that no weight can ever be placed atop a smaller weight. Many people say that the Tower of Bozbar is a superb method of mental relaxation.
The Treaty of Znurg, signed on 5 Jam 474 GUE, ended the Zucchini Wars.
Troll: A troll is a large, stupid monster that lives underground, in caves, or under bridges. One of the few specimens of a troll found in the wild was one that had taken residence in the Great Underground Empire in the Eastlands after the fall of the Empire. The Evil One also used a troll to guard the entrance to Witchville. Readers acquainted with the writings of Leonardo Flathead will undoubtedly be aware of his major treatise proving that the world actually rests on the head of an enormous troll, rather than the back of a giant turtle.
The Tunnels of Love are a favorite among the Kingdom's honeymooners, located a stone's throw from Aragain Falls. The Tunnels are well-known for their vast honeycomb of passageways, and couples have been known to raise entire families just trying to find their rooms. In 873, the only year on record, rates ranged from Zm 2 for a room to Zm 10 for a Honeymoon Suite.
Turtles: In the Great Underground Empire turtles can grow to enormous size and have incredible longevity. One such turtle, residing on the beach near Largoneth, was once the favored pet of King Mumbo II. This turtle helped an enchanter defeat the Warlock Krill in the 940s, and was particularly proud of his rainbowcolored shell, an enchantment cast on him in the 860s.
The Twenty Treasures of Zork are a well-known part of the story of Zork. In 948 GUE a brave adventurer traveled through the tunnels of the Eastland Underground, and on his way to becoming the second Dungeon Master, one of his tasks to prove his worth was to acquire the Twenty Treasures. These treasures were a jewel-encrusted egg, a clockwork canary, a beautiful painting that was probably one of the lost works of Leonardo Flathead, a brass bauble, a pot of gold, a platinum bar, an ivory torch, a gold coffin, an Egyptian sceptre, a trunk of jewels, a crystal trident, a jade figurine, a sapphire bracelet, a huge diamond, a bag of coins that were probably zorkmids, a crystal skull, a jeweled scarab, a large emerald, a silver chalice, and an ancient map. It is not quite clear whether the treasures were created by the first Dungeon Master, or were all relics of the Great Underground Empire.
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¹The exact gender of the fourth Dungeon Master is only known by one person: The fourth Dungeon Master
²Episode synopses for This Psyantist's Life reproduced with permission from the Frobozz Magic Episode Synopsis Company
The Totemizer™ is a trademark of Frobozz Electric, now the Frobozz Magic Company.
Poundization™ is a trademark of Frobozz Electric, now the Frobozz Magic Company.
Permasealization™ is a trademark of Frobozz Electric, now the Frobozz Magic Company.