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MusicClassical Music In 732 GUE the Frobozz Philharmonic Orchestra was formed. Because of the woeful lack of orchestral music in existence, the FPO usually settled for playing baroque versions of old folk tunes and popular dance numbers. Seven years later, the FPO performed their first symphony. The piece was notable because of the age of its author, a precocious eleven-year-old named Johann Sebastian Flathead. As the years went by, the history of the FPO, and of classical music itself, became more and more entwined with the life of Johann himself. The public attendance of the FPO mysteriously declined as Johann's symphonies increased in length. Now considered to be the definitive piece in classical music, his Symphony #981, the so-called Infinite Symphony, contained over 60,000 movements; over the course of its only performance, several members of the orchestra retired and were replaced by their children or grandchildren. Eventually, classical music moved out of the concert hall and into nature. Johann spent his later years composing music for ever more grandiose instruments, such as his Concerto for Woodwinds and Waterfalls. Johann was killed in 789 when a mishap during a rehearsal of his Minuet for Violin and Volcano. Fatalities like this probably explain the general decline in popularity of classical music. Popular Music Popular music reached its peak during the life of Elvis Flathead. For years following his first concert in 841, fans would flock to see "the King" sway back and forth to smash hits such as "You ain't nothing but a hellhound," and "Love Is Blind." Naturally, Elvis imitators abound, and those aspiring stars who cannot sing quite as well as Elvis did can be found in Borphee every winter, where the hills come alive with the sounds of the most dreadful singers in the Kingdom. This event, aptly named The From Bad to Worst Songfest, allows those truly terrible singers to gain recognition while vying for the much-coveted prize of a pair of 18K gold earplugs. The following is a list of several holiday tunes likely to be performed during that Songfest:
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